I Did a Thing (And Glad I Did)

For the past few weeks, I’ve been in a bit of a funk. I’ve come to realize that I thrive when I have something to look forward to. When I was working, it was summer vacation. After my husband passed away, I couldn’t bear to stay in the home we’d shared, so I focused on building a new one—something to plan, anticipate, and pour my energy into. When I retired, I planned an extended trip that gave me excitement and purpose.

But recently? The holidays are over, the birthdays have come and gone, and I found myself staring into long evenings with nothing on the horizon. That changed last night.

We have a wonderful community theater in town that puts on musicals every summer. This year, they’re doing The Music Man, which happens to be one of my all-time favorites. On a bit of a whim—OK, a big leap out of my comfort zone—I decided to audition.

I filled out the application. I practiced the music they sent. I psyched myself up. And then I drove to the theater, palms sweating and heart pounding. I hadn’t sung solo in front of an audience since high school.

Walking into the lobby, I saw a familiar face—a friend from high school who’s now a regular performer in local productions. He greeted me with a big hug and said he was thrilled to see me there. That should have calmed my nerves, but honestly, it made me even more jittery. Singing solo is one thing. Singing solo in front of someone who’s known you for 45 years? That’s a whole new level of vulnerable. It felt a little like singing naked.

I didn’t audition for a speaking role—just a spot in the chorus. And thank goodness, because I truly believe I botched the singing. Nerves got the best of me. But when it was over, my friend gave me another big hug and asked how I felt. I told him honestly: “I blew it.” And maybe I did.

“Sometimes, doing the thing—however imperfectly—is exactly what we need.”
— Me, apparently

But here’s the thing—I showed up. I faced a fear that’s been quietly sitting in my gut for decades. I put myself out there, shaky voice and all. And that, more than anything, was the win.

Will I make it into the chorus? I think so. I hope so. But honestly, that wasn’t the only thing I was after.

I wanted something to look forward to.
I wanted to connect with people whose lives aren’t centered around public education.
I wanted to spend my evenings doing something more meaningful than watching reruns.
I wanted a sense of purpose—however fleeting.

So I did a thing. It may not have been perfect, but it was the right thing for me, right now. I don’t know if I’ll do it again, and that’s OK. For now, I’m going to enjoy the process, the people, and the joy of working toward something bigger than myself.

Bethanne

05/06/2025