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The Retired Widow
More about The Retired Widow
There are over 9 million retired widows in the United States. We all have unique stories to tell along with experience and wisdom to impart. My name is Bethanne, and I’ve been a widow since 2020 and retired in 2024. I want to share some things I’ve learned along the way. Please come along with me on this journey navigating the life of The Retired Widow.
February 2026
Monthly Theme: Love
Begin with kindness toward yourself; it makes every other kind of love possible.
February is often filled with loud messages about romance, hearts, and gestures meant for everyone else. But here at The Retired Widow, we take a gentler and far more sustaining approach to love.
This month, we begin with self-kindness.
Not the Instagram version.
Not the “treat yourself” version.
But the steady, everyday kindness that says, “I matter, even now.”
Begin with kindness toward yourself; it makes every oher kind of love possible.
The idea is simple - and radical. So many of us were taught to give first, endure quieetly, and save compassion for others. Especially women. Especially caregivers. Especially widows who learned how to strong when life demanded it.
But love doesn’t flourish when we’re depleted.
Kindess toward yourself isn’t selfish.
It isn’t indulgent.
It’s foundational.
When you soften the way you speak to yourself …
When you stop rushing your healing …
When you honor your limits without apology …
What Love Looks Like Here
For February, love is not a performance. It’s a practice. It may look like:
Rest without guilt.
Boundaries without explanation.
Joy withour reason.
Grief without a timeline.
Choosing ease over expectation.
This month is an invitation to redefine love as something that includes you.
How to Use February at The Retired Widow
Throughout February, you’ll find reflectins, wisdom, and gentle prompts designed to help you:
Speak to yourself with more compassion.
Release pressure you never agreed to carry.
Practice love in qquiet, sustainable ways.
You don’t need to do everything.
You dont’ need to do it perfectly.
You only need to begin - kindly.
A Gentle Reminder
Love does not ask you to become someone else. It asks you to stay.
Stay present.
Stay honest.
Stay kind - to yourself first.
Welcome to February,
Bethanne
Week 1
February 1 - 7, 2026
Love Begins Within
Love isn’t something you earn after you “get it together”. It starts when you stop speaking to yourself like a critic and star speaking like a friend.
Call to Action
Catch one unkind thought this week and rewrite it.
Example:
“I should be doing more.” No! No! No!
“I am doing what I can - and that is enough today.” Yes! Absolutely!
Write it down. Let it count!
EAT
February 1 - 7, 2026
Sunday
Chilli and Hot Dogs
Monday
Slow Cooker Chicken and Dressing, Cranberry Sauce, and Green Beans
Tuesday
Left-over Chicken and Dressing, Cranberry Sauce, and Green Beans
(always better the next day!)
Wednesday
Frozen Meatloaf (I like Stoffer’s), Mashed Potatoes, Honey Glazed Carrots
Thursday
Hamburger Soup, Salad, and French Bread (recipe below)
Friday
Left-over Hamburger Soup and Salad
Saturday
Refrigerator Clean Out
Recipe of the Week
Hamburger Soup
Hamburger soup is warm and comforting. It’s easy to throw together and usually better the next day. Enjoy this hearty soup with your favorite crusty bread on a cold winter day.
Servings: 6
Prep Time - 20 min
Cook Time - 30 min
Total Time - 50 min
Equipment - Heavy bottomed pot or dutch oven
Ingredients:
1 lb. hamburger
1 med. onion chopped
2 Tbs. olive oil
2 cloves of chopped garlic
4 cups of beef stock
1 med potato peeled and chopped finely
1 can petit diced tomatoes with juice
1 tsp. sugar
2 Tbs Worcheshire Sauce
Salt and Pepper to taste.
Directions:
Cook hamburger in heavy bottom pot or Dutch oven until browned. Remove from pot and drain grease.
Add olive oil to pot. Heat on medium. Add chopped onion. Cook until tranlucent. Add garlic and cook 2 minutes. Be careful not to burn garlic.
Add beef broth to onions and garlic. Add browned hamburger. Add chopped potato, canned tomatoes with juice, sugar, and Worcheshire Sauce.
Increase heat to medium high until boiling. After coming to a boil, reduce heat and simmer 30 minutes. Stir occasionally. Check potatoes for tenderness. Soup is ready when potatoes are tender.
Add salt and pepper to taste.
Other vegetables can be added. I will add frozen carrots if I can find them in the freezer (IYKYK)
I was asked why I add sugar to my recipes that have canned tomatoes. Sugar helps to enhance the tomato flavor. It also seems to counter the “tinny” taste of canned tomatoes. It’s not enough sugar to taste sweet or affect blood sugar levels. Try it. See if you can taste the difference.
Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional. I share personal experiences and observations from my own life, including what works for me while managing diabetes. Everyone’s health needs are different, so please consult your healthcare provider before making changes to your diet or routine.
Have You Tried This?
Three Ingredient Peanut Butter Cookies
After seeing five different TikTok videos for Three-Ingredient Peanut Butter Cookies, I finally gave in.
I am not a baker. Baking requires precision—exact measurements, exact temperatures, exact timing—all things I lack the patience for. But this recipe felt different. Three ingredients. Minimal steps. No room for disaster. Or so it seemed.
Ingredients
1 cup peanut butter (creamy or crunchy)
1 cup sugar (or ½ cup white + ½ cup brown sugar)
1 egg
Directions
Preheat oven to 350°F and line a sheet pan with parchment paper.
Mix peanut butter, sugar, and egg until well combined (an electric hand mixer works best). Scoop into 1-inch balls and place about 2 inches apart on the pan. Flatten each cookie with a fork, making a crisscross pattern.
Bake for 10 minutes. Let cool on the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a cooling rack.
The recipe made 24 cookies—and they were fantastic.
They baked up with the perfect balance of crisp edges and soft centers. I used crunchy peanut butter, which added an extra layer of texture and crunch that worked really well.
One note: these cookies are rich. This isn’t a grab-a-handful situation. Each cookie packs about two tablespoons of peanut butter—more than I put on a PB&J—so this is very much a one-at-a-time treat.
Will I make these again? Absolutely. They’re quick, easy, and genuinely delicious. For someone who doesn’t bake, that’s about as high a recommendation as it gets.
Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional. I share personal experiences and observations from my own life, including what works for me while managing diabetes. Everyone’s health needs are different, so please consult your healthcare provider before making changes to your diet or routine.
LEARN
Book Review
I was searching for a book that could help me understand why, even years later, I can still be struck by grief like a bolt of lightning. There are moments when I instinctively reach for my phone to tell my husband something, only to remember—again—that he’s been gone for over five years. These moments come less frequently now than they did in the early days, but when they do, the pain feels just as fresh.
The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, offered me both comfort and insight. What stood out most was how O’Connor, a neuroscientist and psychologist, explains that grief isn’t just emotional—it’s neurological. She explores how the brain processes the loss of a loved one, why grief feels the way it does, and how our minds struggle to reconcile a new reality with a deeply ingrained emotional bond.
I found this book incredibly helpful in understanding the nature of grief. O’Connor presents the science in a way that’s accessible and compassionate. She also emphasizes the value of connection—through conversation, community, and therapy—in helping people like me cope with loss. Her message is not about “moving on,” but about finding ways to live a meaningful and productive life, while still honoring the person we’ve lost.
This book reminded me that grief is not a failure to heal—it’s a reflection of the love we carry. For anyone navigating the ongoing waves of loss, The Grieving Brain is both a guide and a gentle companion.
