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The Retired Widow
More about The Retired Widow
There are over 9 million retired widows in the United States. We all have unique stories to tell along with experience and wisdom to impart. My name is Bethanne, and I’ve been a widow since 2020 and retired in 2024. I want to share some things I’ve learned along the way. Please come along with me on this journey navigating the life of The Retired Widow.
February 2026
Monthly Theme: Love
Begin with kindness toward yourself; it makes every other kind of love possible.
February is often filled with loud messages about romance, hearts, and gestures meant for everyone else. But here at The Retired Widow, we take a gentler and far more sustaining approach to love.
This month, we begin with self-kindness.
Not the Instagram version.
Not the “treat yourself” version.
But the steady, everyday kindness that says, “I matter, even now.”
Begin with kindness toward yourself; it makes every oher kind of love possible.
The idea is simple - and radical. So many of us were taught to give first, endure quieetly, and save compassion for others. Especially women. Especially caregivers. Especially widows who learned how to strong when life demanded it.
But love doesn’t flourish when we’re depleted.
Kindess toward yourself isn’t selfish.
It isn’t indulgent.
It’s foundational.
When you soften the way you speak to yourself …
When you stop rushing your healing …
When you honor your limits without apology …
What Love Looks Like Here
For February, love is not a performance. It’s a practice. It may look like:
Rest without guilt.
Boundaries without explanation.
Joy withour reason.
Grief without a timeline.
Choosing ease over expectation.
This month is an invitation to redefine love as something that includes you.
How to Use February at The Retired Widow
Throughout February, you’ll find reflectins, wisdom, and gentle prompts designed to help you:
Speak to yourself with more compassion.
Release pressure you never agreed to carry.
Practice love in qquiet, sustainable ways.
You don’t need to do everything.
You don’t need to do it perfectly.
You need to begin - kindly.
A Gentle Reminder
Love does not ask you to become someone else. It asks you to stay.
Stay present.
Stay honest.
Stay kind - to yourself first.
Welcome to February,
Bethanne
Week 3
February 15-21 2026
Love Includes Boundaries
Saying no is not rejection; it’s self-respect.
Boundaries are how love learns to stay.
Call to Action
Choose one boundary to honor this week.
It can be small:
Leaving early
Not answering right away
Saying, “I can’t take that on
Then sit with the relief that follows.
EAT
February 15 - 21, 2026
This week’s foci is on lunch (yum!).
Meal prep on Sunday to have nutritious meals ready to go.
Sunday
Brunch at Cracker Barrel
Monday
Broccoli and Mandarin Orange Salad with Grapefruit Dressing
Prep dressing ahead of time (see recipe below)
Tuesday
Turkey, Avocado, and Humus Roll ups with Flour Tortilla
Fruit and Greek Yogurt Cup
Wednesday
Grilled Chicken (prep ahead) Cobb Salad (prep hard boiled egges ahead) with Grapefruit Dressing
Thursday
Tuna and Egg Salad with Raw Veggies - Carrots, Celery, Cucumber (prep ahead)
Fruit and Greek Yogurt Cup (again…sorry: not sorry. I like it.)
Friday
Taco Salad without Chips (prep seasoned ground beef ahead)
Saturday
Mediterranean Chicken Snack Box
See below for prep
Recipe of the Week
So this is not a recipe, except for the grapefruit dressing. This is a meal prep plan for lunches this week. I will usually meal prep on Sunday afternoon. This makes everything easy for lunches. I can grab things from the refrigerator and throw together for ADA friendly meals.
Protein Prep:
Two whole grilled chicken breasts.
Four boiled eggs
Have pre-cooked bacon on hand (for Cobb Salad)
Vegetable Prep:
If not using baby carrots, julienne carrot strips
Celery strips
Cucumber slices
Bell Pepper strips
Broccoli florets
Romaine Lettuce
Prepare Avocado right before eating
Broccoli and Mandarin Orange Salad with Grapefruit Dressing
Ingredients:
1/2 juiced grapefruit
1 small diced shallot
1/4 cup Olive Oil
1 Tbs Champagne Vinegar
2 Tbs Honey
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste
2 Cups of chopped Broccoli florets
15 oz. can No Sugar Added Mandarin Oranges - drained
1/4 cup Toasted Pecans
Step 1
In a large bowl, whisk together grapefruit juice, shallot, olive oil, vinegar, honey, salt, and pepper. Store in a small jar.
Step 2
Plate broccoli and mandarin oranges in a small bowl. Drizzle Grapefruit Dressing over. Top with pecans.
Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional. I share personal experiences and observations from my own life, including what works for me while managing diabetes. Everyone’s health needs are different, so please consult your healthcare provider before making changes to your diet or routine.
Have You Tried This?
Cocktails with Friends
A friend I used to work with texted me earlier this week saying she missed me.
Boy-howdy — did I miss her too.
She took my position when I retired, and I’ve wondered many times how she was doing. She’s a consummate professional, so I knew she didn’t need advice or help. I was simply curious about her well-being. Moving from elementary school to middle school can be daunting.
I texted back and asked if she’d like to get together later in the week for cocktails and hors d’oeuvres.
Her reply came almost immediately: “Yes! That would be great!”
And it was.
We spent a couple of hours catching up on life — the big things and the small things — then parted ways with a promise to do it again soon. I have no doubt we will.
We’re alike in many ways. We’re both passionate about the profession we shared. I’m still very interested in education… I just don’t want to work in it anymore.
The most interesting thing about us is that we’re both introverts. We don’t need weekly lunches or constant contact. We simply pick up where we left off, even if it’s been a year.
So yes — we’ll meet again in a few months and have another wonderful time.
I have only a small circle of close friends — maybe six or seven people I can spend extended time with. Large crowds exhaust me now. My small circle is what restores my soul.
Have you tried going out with a friend yet?
I know it can feel scary. It’s easy to say, “Maybe later.”
And that’s okay. It took me years before I felt comfortable being social again.
Go when you feel ready.
Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional. I share personal experiences and observations from my own life, including what works for me while managing diabetes. Everyone’s health needs are different, so please consult your healthcare provider before making changes to your diet or routine.
LEARN
Book Review
I was searching for a book that could help me understand why, even years later, I can still be struck by grief like a bolt of lightning. There are moments when I instinctively reach for my phone to tell my husband something, only to remember—again—that he’s been gone for over five years. These moments come less frequently now than they did in the early days, but when they do, the pain feels just as fresh.
The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, offered me both comfort and insight. What stood out most was how O’Connor, a neuroscientist and psychologist, explains that grief isn’t just emotional—it’s neurological. She explores how the brain processes the loss of a loved one, why grief feels the way it does, and how our minds struggle to reconcile a new reality with a deeply ingrained emotional bond.
I found this book incredibly helpful in understanding the nature of grief. O’Connor presents the science in a way that’s accessible and compassionate. She also emphasizes the value of connection—through conversation, community, and therapy—in helping people like me cope with loss. Her message is not about “moving on,” but about finding ways to live a meaningful and productive life, while still honoring the person we’ve lost.
This book reminded me that grief is not a failure to heal—it’s a reflection of the love we carry. For anyone navigating the ongoing waves of loss, The Grieving Brain is both a guide and a gentle companion.
