The Paradox of the Holidays
What’s in a Word?
I wasn’t sure if paradox was the right word for this piece. But after a quick look at the definition, I decided it’s perfect for how I feel about the upcoming holidays.
Paradox — a person or thing having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases.
(Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
Holiday — a day marked by a general suspension of work in commemoration of an event.
(Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
The denotation — the literal meaning — of each word is simple enough.
But the connotation of holiday tells a deeper story. Holidays aren’t just “days off work.” They carry the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of years gone by.
The Joy of Childhood Holidays
For most of us, holidays stir memories of comfort and joy — the smells of turkey and ham wafting through every room, setting the Thanksgiving table with china and silver, watching the Macy’s Parade, or curling up with Miracle on 34th Street while waiting for grandparents and cousins to arrive.
“The turkey and ham baking, the Macy’s Parade on TV, and the Sears Christmas Catalog — those were the scents and sights of love.”
There were piles of leaves to jump in, football games on TV, and long evenings flipping through the Sears Christmas catalog, circling our dreams in ink.
Christmas morning meant sleepless anticipation, crumpled wrapping paper, and riding new bikes in pajamas.
New Year’s Eve brought sparkling grape juice, pigs in a blanket, and homemade fudge — toasted in plastic cups at midnight before drifting off to sleep.
Those were fun, cozy, safe times. We had what we needed, and most of what we wanted.
Above all, we had love.
When the Paradox Appears
As adults, my husband and I wanted our kids to feel that same love and joy. We did our best.
But then life shifted.
My parents faced hardships, and soon, holidays without them began to lose their sparkle. I tried to keep traditions alive, but my heart wasn’t in it.
When my mother died, I barely remember that Thanksgiving.
Christmas came only because it had to.
Two years later, when my father passed, I handled it a little better. I had learned how to survive grief, and the holidays found their way back into our lives — smaller, but still full of love.
Then, my husband died. Just three weeks later, the world shut down for COVID.
I lived on autopilot.
“Grief changes the holidays — but it doesn’t have to erase them.”
The Unexpected Gift
Ten months later, the holidays returned.
I wasn’t ready — but my children were.
They planned Thanksgiving.
They decorated.
They cooked.
They filled the house with laughter again.
That’s when I realized the true paradox of the holidays:
Parents spend years creating the feelings and memories for their children — and then, one day, it’s the children who recreate those same feelings for us.
A Season of Acceptance
It’s okay to feel all the emotions during the holidays — joy and sadness, gratitude and longing.
I’ve learned to accept and even embrace them.
I love my life now.
I’m grateful for every moment that brought me here.
“I can’t change the past, but I can shape my future — and I choose to make it bright.”
Closing Reflection
The holidays are a paradox — full of memories and moments, both tender and bittersweet.
But they remind me that love is the thread that ties every season together.
Blessings,
