From Whilly-Nilly to Intentional: A Widow’s Guide to Living with Purpose
“I envision living a fulfilling and peaceful life by deepening my spirituality, maintaining order and harmony in my home, achieving financial security, offering help to others, being prepared for the unexpected, and nurturing my health to the fullest extent possible.”
Phew! That’s a mouthful. But it’s mine—my personal vision statement. I worked hard to craft this sentence because I wanted to include every part of my life: spirituality, home, finances, philanthropy, preparedness, and health. The overarching theme? Living a fulfilling and peaceful life.
Is it realistic? Maybe. Maybe not. But I’ve come to believe that personal visions don’t have to be perfect—they’re meant to be something to strive for.
Alongside my vision is my mission—a guide for how I want to live each day:
“My mission is to live each day with intention and gratitude—seeking spiritual growth, creating a calm and organized living space, making wise financial choices, extending kindness and support to those in need, staying ready for life’s surprises, and prioritizing wellness in mind, body and spirit.”
Another mouthful? Sure. But every word counts. If my vision is about where I want to go, my mission is how I’m choosing to get there.
✨ The Power of Intentionality
The key thread in both my vision and mission is one powerful word: intentionality.
And let me tell you, intentionality is hard work. It’s not about floating through life on a whim. It’s not “whilly-nilly” decision-making (a phrase I know intimately, because I was once the whilly-nilliest of all the whilly-nilly). Instead, intentional living takes thought, planning, preparation, and follow-through.
In the past, I did many things on autopilot. I’d do the dishes not because I saw value in it, but because I needed a clean pan to cook. I exercised because someone said I should—not because I valued my health. I only filled my gas tank when it was nearly empty, counting on someone else to rescue me if I ran out.
I rarely paused to ask, Why does this matter? That pause—that intention—is the difference between doing and living.
🧠 Planning with Purpose
Now, planning is how I put my thoughts in order.
After my husband passed away, I was devastated. The home we built together no longer felt like a refuge—it felt like a reminder. One of the most intentional decisions I’ve ever made was to leave that house and build a new one. Not to forget him, but to honor his memory in a space where I could breathe and begin again.
I found a builder. I planned an accessible, comfortable home that met both my emotional and physical needs. It gave me the freedom to live forward, while carrying my husband’s spirit with me.
💰 Preparation is Power
Did I know if I could afford it? Not at first. So I prepared.
I reviewed my income while I was still working. I looked at Social Security benefits as a widow, reviewed my retirement accounts, and created a budget I could live with—one that balanced needs and wants.
And even now, it’s the small preparations that help my days run smoothly:
Keeping dish detergent on the grocery list.
Setting out clean workout clothes to combat my exercise dread.
Filling the gas tank at a quarter full, not empty and desperate.
No one’s coming to rescue me now. I have to save myself—and that’s okay.
✅ Living the Mission
Each morning, I take a few moments to reflect. I list what needs to get done and what I want to do. It’s a simple but powerful act: choosing to live with intention.
And if something doesn’t contribute to my peace, health, or happiness? It doesn’t make today’s “To Do” list. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe never. That’s intentional too.
🌷 A Life I’m Proud To Live
As a retired widow, I’ve had to rethink who I am and how I want to live. Creating my personal vision and mission statements has been more than a writing exercise—it’s been a path to healing, independence, and self-discovery.
I’m building a life I’m proud of. Not because it’s perfect—but because it’s mine, and it’s intentional.
Have you written your own vision or mission statement?
If not, I encourage you to try. It doesn’t have to be polished. It just has to be honest. And in that honesty, you might just find your purpose, too.
Blessings,
Bethanne
05/28/2025
