The Power of Habits and Routines
When I retired, I thought, Whoop! Whoop! No more getting up at 5:00 a.m. No more rushing to get ready for work. No more rush hour traffic. No more scrambling to cook dinner. No more “Scary Sunday” — that frantic dash to prep for the week ahead. I looked forward to the freedom of unscheduled time.
So what did I do in the first weeks?
I got up at 5:00 a.m. I rushed to get ready…for something. I felt like I had to go somewhere. I was compelled to have a cooked dinner on the table by 6:00 p.m. And every Sunday, I still felt that old, familiar dread in my gut. It was like my body hadn’t gotten the memo that I was free. Eventually, those patterns faded.
And what came next?
Nothing. Or almost nothing.
I started rolling out of bed around 8:00 a.m. I didn’t eat breakfast, didn’t make my bed, didn’t shower — and many days, I struggled just to get dressed. Dinner? Does a bowl of cereal count as a balanced meal? “Scary Sunday” disappeared, and in its place came a blur of indistinguishable days. As a widow, there was no one to answer to. And while that sounds like freedom, it slowly chipped away at my physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
I wanted — needed — to reinvent myself. It turns out that’s a pretty common experience for newly retired people. I was no longer a wife. No longer a mother to young children. No longer a teacher. I couldn’t figure out who I was anymore or what my purpose was.
I dove into books — on grief, on sudden loss, on self-help — just trying to pull myself off the couch and back into life. (See my Recommended Reading page for the titles that helped.) Some were fluff, sure, but I always found at least one or two golden nuggets to take with me.
One of the most impactful books I read was James Clear’s Atomic Habits.
I thought I knew what habits were. They were something you “just did” without thinking. And yes — that’s part of it — but they’re so much more than that. Good habits can be learned and practiced until they become second nature. Bad habits can be unlearned and eliminated. Habits are individual actions that take place independently, but when combined, they shape our days — and ultimately, our lives.
Good habits? Brushing your teeth, exercising daily, or placing your grocery order every Thursday night for a Friday morning delivery (thank you, Walmart).
Bad habits? Smoking, that third glass of wine before bed, and falling asleep with the television on. (Guilty, Guilty, Guilty.)
Routines are a series of actions that require active thought and preparation. Habits are what support those routines. Routines give me structure. They give me peace of mind that the necessary things are getting done, and they help me move toward my goals.
Before I retired, my routines were everything. If I didn’t wake up at 5:00 a.m., the rest of my day would fall apart. I had a precise order for getting ready, knew the best routes to avoid traffic, and always had dinner prepped so we could eat by 6:00 p.m. That routine worked — because I had to make it work.
But a few months into retirement, my routines unraveled. I told myself I was enjoying the peace, but in reality, nothing was getting done. Grocery shopping was haphazard. Personal hygiene? Let’s not even talk about it. Housekeeping? Don’t make me laugh. These are the bare minimums needed to function as a human — and I was slipping. The hardest part? I had no goals. I thought I had already accomplished everything I’d set out to do.
After a year of this fog, I decided it was time for change. I needed new goals. And the key to achieving them? Rebuilding my life through daily routines and weekly and monthly habits.
I started with three goals:
This blog
Health
Fitness
(I’ll go into the process of establishing those goals in a future post.)
Here’s my current Monday–Friday routine — not set in stone, but a guide to help me stay on track:
My Daily Routine (Monday–Friday):
6:00–7:00 a.m. — Wake up
By 8:00 a.m. — Make bed, shower, maybe do makeup, get dressed
8:00–8:30 a.m. — Breakfast
8:30–9:30 a.m. — Housekeeping: laundry, dishes, dusting, vacuuming (easy if done daily!)
9:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m. — Office hours:
Check finances
Check meals for the day
Blog writing, photography, research, filming, etc.
12:30–1:00 p.m. — Lunch
1:00–3:00 p.m. — Read
3:00–4:30 p.m. — Work out, nap, or whatever feels right
4:30–6:00 p.m. — Prep, eat, and clean up dinner
6:00–10:30 p.m. — Chill
10:30 p.m. — Bedtime
Weekly Habits:
Thursday: Menu planning and grocery orders (during office hours)
Friday: Grocery delivery
Sunday: Church + Sunday brunch
Saturday: Fun day!
Monthly Habits:
Last day of the month: Bill pay
Last week of the month: Budgeting + reflection on accomplishments
First day of the month: Set new goals + systems to support them
These routines and habits aren’t rigid. Life happens. Things will pop up. I need to give myself grace when they do. These are simply guidelines to help me find my purpose again — to build a life with passion, intention, and joy.
This is me — reinventing life as The Retired Widow.
Bethanne (April 18, 2025)
