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Book Review

The Grieving Brain

The Surprising Science of How We learn from Love and Loss

by

Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD

I was searching for a book that could help me understand why, even years later, I can still be struck by grief like a bolt of lightning. There are moments when I instinctively reach for my phone to tell my husband something, only to remember—again—that he’s been gone for over five years. These moments come less frequently now than they did in the early days, but when they do, the pain feels just as fresh.

The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, offered me both comfort and insight. What stood out most was how O’Connor, a neuroscientist and psychologist, explains that grief isn’t just emotional—it’s neurological. She explores how the brain processes the loss of a loved one, why grief feels the way it does, and how our minds struggle to reconcile a new reality with a deeply ingrained emotional bond.

I found this book incredibly helpful in understanding the nature of grief. O’Connor presents the science in a way that’s accessible and compassionate. She also emphasizes the value of connection—through conversation, community, and therapy—in helping people like me cope with loss. Her message is not about “moving on,” but about finding ways to live a meaningful and productive life, while still honoring the person we’ve lost.

This book reminded me that grief is not a failure to heal—it’s a reflection of the love we carry. For anyone navigating the ongoing waves of loss, The Grieving Brain is both a guide and a gentle companion.